Are you happy as of this moment?
It wouldn’t be too striking if you answer “No”. Let’s face it, for Hong Kong people, leading an unhappy life no longer hits the headlines. Most of us are deprived of our free time largely due to a hectic work schedule and fully packed social calendar. Apart from that, shrinking living environment, grim political prospects, and the pressing pandemic have overturned our lives into nothing but turmoil. Despite this cruel reality, many are still foraging for a proven recipe that leads to a happier life.
So, how are you living your life?
After graduation, I set foot in society and stumbled unwillingly into the job market as many other university graduates have done. Commuting across districts by bus in the early morning, it is rather surprising that I am not the only one who has to overcome the insurmountable gravity to roll out of bed at 5:30 a.m. Some even head off way earlier. Eyes shut, heads bent down, bodies fidgeting in the seats trying to find the perfect posture are how most sleep-deprived workers try to snatch some sleep before going about the day. Just a second after dozing off, the bus pulls over and a flock of people scramble to get off.
This daily grind has prompted me to wonder how living in Hong Kong is any different from surviving from a battlefield.
From what I can tell, the chief obstacle to happiness is that we are fearful of being our true selves risking financial stability. Flashing back several years ago, when I was still a student, I practised guitar countless hours a day, relishing that one day I could play it like a guitar hero on stage. I left nothing in the tank. Alongside the dream, on the other hand, were doubts and apprehension:
“A musician? You sure you can make a living with your paltry skills?”
“let’s forget about this frivolity, just focus on your study .”
“Your head is in the clouds, be more mature and grow up.”
When I sat down and mused seriously about living the dream, more questions were raised than were answered. Indeed, growing up in a grassroot family, I did dread to consider other possibilities but stick with the “right path” for fear a reckless move would impose more burden on the livelihood of the family. I was never taught to go after my seemingly fanciful dreams.
As days passed, inevitably, I got swallowed by society. The more inundated I was at work, the less disciplined or motivated I was to strum and hum. Eventually, the dream has been eroded bit by bit under my nose. I didn’t notice that until it had parted far away from me as if a kite with a broken string. Once a devoted guitarist who carried the guitar everywhere, now I am just another worker who struggles to live through every grinding day. Imagine, conceivably, returning home late at night after a day of drudgery, the first priority is to shower and sleep at once. Unfortunately, there are many others sharing the same experience as in they also have to bury their dreams and bow to the reality, which we call adulthood. In other words, we are not living the lives that we covet to live and not being the one we want to be.
So I gave up.
But it just leads to another vicious cycle as I have lost the spark of life.
From my experience, however, when I had an off day, feeling deflated, despondent, or discouraged, it is those dreams that inspire me. I clicked some of my old guitar videos looking at the old self, so familiar yet so alienated, and I was relieved that at least I still have a knack for something. Indeed, preserving our inner desires, ambitious dreams or interests, is indispensable to stay cheerful in a world where only wealth is trumpeted. By no means can you just delete them in your memory as though eradicating some sort of junk mail since they are deeply rooted in you and define who you are.
It must sound a bit trite to you, but it is true.
For most people, sacrificing copious amounts of time, money, and energy for an elusive dream sounds intimidating and impractical. For others more enterprising, it is totally worth it to live their dreams at all costs rather than go to the grave with the song still in them. For me, frankly, it would be challenging to leave everything behind to go after the guitar dream as of this moment. However, is the reality truly set in stone? Surely not! Though life is a labyrinth full of twists and turns, one would eventually make it to the promised land.
